This turned out to be a gloriously beautiful afternoon/evening/night for wiffles.

This is probably the least detailed info I have.

Spaz, Smallpox, Beardface, Taco of Hopkins took on Meesta, EZ-E, Cheese Curd, Seuss of Eagan for the HR Derby Crown.

From what I recall in the first round Smallpox, Cheese Curd and Spaz had the best showing with Small Pox hitting 10 and Spaz/Dodger's Bro hitting between 5-6.

Round two had those three competing again along with Meesta. Smallpox and Cheese Curd moved on.

In the final round Smallpox[ ended up bitching slapping the field to win the HR Derby Title. Good thing, too. We're having him hit in Columbus in the NWLA tournament's HR derby next week.

This was another glorious mix of fun/shenanigans as Neut, Westy, Dr. Xesus, and TT threw homage to the World Cup festivities by devolving the wiffles into a soccer (or futbol) game during their innings. Ah yes, cones were brought out to signify the goals as the Hopkins squad of Eddie Bauer, Truck, Vlade, Sparky, Bork, Nelson, K-Mart, and Taco did battle against them on the make-shift pitch.

Meanwhile, the Hopkins Fun Stars... well they weren't very fun. They went scorched earth and turned it into a NO Fun Star game. Intensity was raised as players were called by a first name basis. Taco/Jimmy threw 90 when he was pitching. Bork hit a majestic dinger. Nelson sprinted. K-Mart was Tim Howard when soccer was played. Sparky tripped someone and Eddie Bauer was Landon Donovan 2.0. Nathan yelled as usual. It looked fun and Beardface did a good job recording a majority of it - look for more on the 2014 HRL DVD season recap.

Oh yeah, there was a snapping turtle that Styx stumbled upon in the parking lot as well, see the pic below. After scaring the shit out of some of the HRL bros on the field, it pissed itself and was kindly returned to its natural habitat.

The Main Event followed with Eagan batting Handsome Mat, Box, Fedawg, Rex, Wole, and Seuss (who replaced J-Ski in the lineup) going against Smallpox, Taco, Beardface, Spaz and Two Bat.

Pitching for Eagan was The Kid, Hardball and Dr. Seuss countering Beardface, Two Bat and Stix from Hopkins. After a vigorous Rock-Paper-Scissors battle Hopkins was awarded homefield advantage.

Inning 1

Beardface started pitching for Hopkins with a slight scare in the first off a hit from Box and walk to Rex but was able to escape unscathed by striking out Handsome Mat, Wole and Fedawg.

The Kid was the first one on the bump for Eagan. Hopkins hitters had a similar inning with a hit from Two Bat and walk from Spaz but Kid shut down Smallpox, Taco and Beardy to end the inning with two runners on.

Inning 2
Beardface mowed down Eagan again throwing up another goose egg despite a second hit from Box.

Hopkins hitters smarten up in the bottom of the inning with walks from Smallpox, Two Bat and Taco followed by three RBI's off grounders from Spaz, and Beardface. Hopkins up 3-0.

Inning 3
Beardface started the top of the inning off by going 1-2-3 against Wole, Fedawg and Dr. Seuss.

Kid started the bottom of the inning off by getting two outs from Two Bat and Taco but things went south from there. A hit from Spaz was followed by back-to-back homeruns from Beardface and Small Pox. Two Bat, Taco, and Spaz followed with hits but Taco was thrown out at third to end the inning but not before Two Bat was able to score. Hopkins up 7-0.

Inning 4
Two Bat in for Hopkins pitching at this point strikes out Mat and Rex and Box grounding out in the top.

Hardball up for Eagan pitching gets Beardface on a strike out, and Smallpox/Two Bat on grounders. Score remains 7-0.

Innings 5-6
More of the same with Hardball dealing for Eagan going 1-2-3 and Walk-1-2-3. Two Bat Goes 1-2-3, 1-2-3 with some help in the field from Bliss and Taco. No changes after 6 inning, Hopkins up 7-0.

Inning 7
Sticks in for Hopkins pitching in the top of the 7. Wole musters a line-shot home run over the left field fence to lead things off for Eagan. Score 7-1 in Hopkins favor. Unimpressed, Sticks follows up by going 1-2-3 and shutting down Eagan.

Seuss now in for Eagan makes fools of Beardface, Smallpox and Two Bat going 1-2-3.

Inning 8
Box leads off for Eagan against Sticks with a hit followed by a Rex strike out and ground/flyouts from Wole and Fedawg.

Seuss again shuts down the Hopkins bats striking out Taco, Spaz and a ground/fly out from Beardface.

Inning 9
Eagan's last chance against Sticks... who promptly disposes of Seuss, Mat and Box.

Final Score:
Hopkins: 7
Eagan: 1

This all-star game was by far the most in line with the rules from a pitching stand point I've ever seen which was a good change. Everyone was throwing within the speed limit which was nice for a change. It was a very fun game to participate in.


A good chunk of people hung around Sky Hill for about a half hour after the game wrapped up. I'd say there was still at least 30 people by this point.

About 15-20 people then left for Hjal's Firebrick Pizzeria which was a short 5 minute drive from Sky Hill for some delicious pizza and some drinks. Thanks Hjal, seriously the pizza was fucking awesome.

Awesome times. I know a ton of video was taken. I feel bad for anyone who couldn't attend. This write-up doesn't do it justice but tonight turned out to be amazing.


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