NEWS

28

By Nightmare (no Vlade this week)—

  1. (10-0, 1st in Bunny's) The Rays took two from the Mets, including a come from behind win against Taco/Webby (two of the best pitchers in the league).  I think that speaks for itself.  This team is annoyingly good.  I may have a little hope the Ducks (June 3) can pull off a miracle and steal a game, since the teams seem to know each other well, but... it's very little hope.  (Previous Rank: 1)
  1. (12-0, 1st in Lone Oak) It took an illegal JackOff SwingOff, but the Dodgers filleted the fish to stay undefeated.  Epstein and Psych showed why they're two of the best pitchers (and hitters) in the best city in the league.  And don't sleep on Cheerio, that guy deserve a little more credit than he gets.  The kids get the Reds (June 3) next.  This will be a great series (and possible Eagan Finals preview??)… I think I give the Dodgers the edge, but just barely...  (PR: 2)
  1. (9-3, 1st in LTD) The Mets have dropped three in a row.  I don't care, I still like the Mets.  A lot.  I just noticed Web Gem lost both games...  I wonder if he's ever lost two in a night before…  Probably not.  JC and the Mets host the Yankees/Orioles this week.  (PR: 3)
  1. (11-2, 1st in Wildcats… however, I doubt they'll ever go there… hard to blame them) The Reds swept the Kards and Whalers last week, not super surprising, but good to see my former comrades get right after their long night in Hopkins.  More importantly, they found their bats, which had been hibernating awhile.  Just in time for them to take on the Dodgers next (June 3)... should be a good series.  (PR: 6)
  1. (9-3, 2nd in Bunny's)  Last week the RubberDucks split with the RoughRiders, swept the American, and scored a ton of runs.  Speaking of the runs, these guys also posted a tweet from their Thursday night post-game spot, Taco Bell.  I mean… awesome!  I respect the 4th meal.  I hate to admit it, but these antics are growing on me...  My only question now is, who does their choreography?!  The Ducks are hosting the Whalers and Athletics this week, and my prediction is their choreographer will be putting in overtime... cause of all the bombs they'll be hitting.  (PR: 7)
  1. (9-1, 1st in Yankee Tavern) The Yankees swept the Lugnuts.  Not surprising.  A little surprising was a good pitching performance from the Yankees’ rookie, Z-Dog (3 innings, no hits, struck out 6 of 12 batters).  He’s continuing to make the case for ROY.  Also Yeller threw a no-hitter.  No big deal.  The Yankees trek to Hopkins for a night with the Mets and Roughriders this week.  (PR: 4)
  1. (9-3, 1st in LTD) The Americans drop two to the Ducks.  They drop a bit in the rankings, but I still like this team a lot.  Jet Plane has cooled off some (or just missed some games), but Knooty Booty’s stepped up to provide the offense in those games where Jet Plane was grounded.  The Americanos travel to the swampy Knob to face off against the Pigs and Red Birds.  (PR: 5)
  1. (5-5, 3rd Yankee Tavern) The Marlins were swept by the Dodgers last week and the only good thing to come out of the game (for the Fish) was Neut's epic bucket flop during the JackOff SwingOff.  I wrote other stuff, but really, this flop sums up the Fish’s season thus far… Marlins host the Giants and Chihuahuas Thursday.  (PR: 8)

              

  1. (6-6, 2nd in Yankee Tavern) The Kardinals were swept by the Reds and bounced back to sweep the Bears.  Tootin informs us that the Kards bats… have returned.  I’d argue they never went anywhere… but he knows better than me, and I hope he's right because the rinks are more fun when the Birds are tossing bird seed around.  The Kards host the Braves/Americans at the Knob Thursday.  (PR: 9)
  1. (7-6, 2nd in Wildcats) Kong returns and leads the Athletics to three wins in a week.  These were much-needed wins after dropping five in a row.  I'll admit, I didn't believe in the Athletics early on, but I'm starting to see the light...  Kong chaperones the young Athletics, maybe by boat, to Hopkins to splash around with the Seamen and RubberDucklings.  (PR: 10)
  1. (3-3, 3rd in Bunny's)  No news from the Braves camp las week, another victim of the rain (poor Hopkins field conditions).  Prior to the weather delay, the Braves were getting back on track.  I hope they continue playing well.  #ChopWatch: 365 HRs, 954 RBI.  Bravados travel to swampy Pilot Knob to swat mosquitos (and probably some bombs) with the Kards and Iron Pigs.  (PR: 13)
  1. (4-6, 2nd in Lone Oak)  The Pirates split with the Athletics last week.  Although struggling to find wins, the Pirates are hitting pretty well and scoring some runs.  If they keep hitting, and that pitching continues to improve (as I expect it to), June could be a good month for the Rats.  The Pirates set sail for Sky Hill this week to host the Chihuahuas/Giants.  (PR:11)
  1. (3-6, 4th in LTD)  The Giants, afraid of getting a little wet, didn’t play last week… Just kidding.  It was the terrible field conditions in Hopkins that kept the Giants from playing last week (I think).  Bliss Jr. is having a heck of a year on the mound, and looks to continue his dominance in beautiful Eagan this week against the Marlins/Rats.  (PR: 12)
  1. (3-7, 4th in Bunny's)  The RoughRiders are a tough group to rank.  H9K shuts down the Reds one week (like he's done a ton of times in his career), then gets lit up for 15 runs by the Ducks the next.  I also see he's also given up a career high number of runs this season, and there’s still a lot of season left... I don't get it.  I still have faith that these guys can show up and hang in there with any team... but... I wish I knew what was going on... but that would require going to Hopkins, so nope.  The RoughRiders host the Orioles/Yankees at Central this week.  (PR: 15)
  1. (3-5, 3rd in LTD) The Twins skipped last week and play the Braves next (June 3), unless it's too damp outside.  (PR: 14)
  1. (4-8, 4th in Yankee Tavern) The Whalers were swept by the Reds last week.  Sanchez took another couple steps towards #SanchezSays 500 (by the way, he will hit #500, 501, and 502 June 3 against the Piglets).  The Whalers still need to find some pitching... but it’s not like pitching just grows on trees, so...  The Whalers set sail for Hopkins this week to splash around with the Ducks and Seamen.  (PR: 16)
  1. (2-6, 3rd in Lone Oak) The Iron Pigs won a couple games against the Orioles.  They looked to be intense games too, from where I was standing.  Foul Pole Joel (that was Neut's idea) hit a lot of bombs and Jean Claude VanHamms (also Neut's idea) looked to be pitching pretty well also.  Their record may not reflect it, but the Pigs have improved since last year.  I'm not saying they're going to win out, or even win half their games, or even ten games... but they're just good enough they could surprise a few teams who show up expecting a cake walk.  Pigs are hosting the Americans/Braves at the knob.  (PR: 20)
  1. (4-9, 5th in LTD) The Mariners split with the RoughRiders last week.  To say they are falling short of (my) expectations of them would be an understatement... but who cares what I think?  I think it was Beah Trent who asked me why I thought the Mariners would be good this year...  I have no idea.  Seamen hit the open waters of Valley Park looking for Whales (and Athletics) next.  (PR: 19)
  1. (2-10, 3rd in Wildcats) The Orioles were swept by the Iron Pigs.  Aside from a very questionable HR call by the O's, I liked what I saw (and by "questionable" I mean the ball was 3 feet foul).  I was surprised at how hard the O’s played, and more importantly, they looked like they were having fun.  My first (non-statistical) impression of these guys is that they’re a good mix of the competition and fun (maybe more fun than competition).  I've been hard on the Orange Birds this year (because they don’t win very often)... but they look like a "scrappy" team and down the road, I think they could come together and surprise some teams.  The O-Birds trek to the-only-good-thing-we-have-is-Bunny's next for a RoughRider/Mets engagement.  (PR: 19)
  1. (1-9, 4th in Lone Oak) The Bears were swept by the Kards last week.  Not the ideal start to a season, but the Bears certainly have the talent to turn this season around and meet (or exceed) last year's win total (7).  Bears square up with the Lugnuts next (June 3) in what could be too much fun for one rink to hold.  (PR: 17)
  1. (0-6, 5th in Bunnys) Don't be fooled!  The Chihuahuas are better than their 0-6 record!!!  At least that's what I'm going with this morning.  These guys walked in off the street to face the Giants, Rays, and RubberDucks to start the season.  Not many teams are going to play those games and win more than a couple.  So, for today, I'm arguing they got screwed by the schedule.  The Sombrero'd Pups get to play in a real city this week, taking on the Rats and Fish at what is, scientifically speaking, the nicest field we have (Sky Hill). 
  1. (0-12, 4th in Wildcats) I've been hearing a lot about the Lugnuts lately.  They're cool guys.  They have a ton of fun (or are super funny).  They're really improving... Kind of reminds me of my (much) younger days when someone wanted to set me up with someone.  "Oh she's super funny,” or “she’s got a great personality..."  Don't know why I thought of that... what a weird day.  Anyways, did I just call the Lugnuts ugly?  The Bears are next.  I'm sure the games will be really cool.  Tons of fun.  Great personality...  (Permanent Ranking?: 22)

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