NEWS

15

By Nightmare—

So, it’s Nightmare’s birthday week!!!  The first thing I did to treat myself this week was get my team’s registration complete for Wifflin’ for Wishes (Team Dad Bod 2: Jason Momoa).  It’s been the highlight of my day so far.  Your highlight, of course, will be reading the rankings, but I assure you, locking in a spot at this year’s tournament will be a close #2.  Speaking of #2’s let’s give you something to read…                                                                                                                                 

(Note: In reverse order, because Kong said so, and when the Manager of the Year tells you to do something, you just do it.)

22.  The Lugnuts… Originally I had a rant here… but I may want to rejoin the Reds one day so I won’t publicly say what I’m thinking about them right now.  Anyways… I’d like to think (looking at the scores) that the Lugnuts are getting more competitive…  I guess I'll see later this week when the Lugs play the Fish.  (Permanent Previous Rank: 22)

21.  So…the Orioles… I already used the old, “they’re better than their record” line… what else can I say… I don’t want to say anything negative about these guys cause they’re pretty decent dudes… so…yeah.  (PR: 19)

20.  How did The Iron Pigs beat the RoughRiders last week?  I have no idea.  I mean, some idea.  Looks like EAD had a good game.  He also has one of the worst nicknames ever…  There should be a committee that filters out bad nicknames (Trent, don’t bother applying… also happy birthday to you buddy).  (PR: 18)

19.  The Bears won a couple of games against the Nuts in some rare weekend wiffles… I wish that happened more often (both the Bears sweeping and weekend wiffles).  The Professor won game 1 and hit a couple bombs Saturday.  Nice to "see" him back at the rinks.  (PR: 20)

18.  I don't usually condone breaking up teams (in public), especially not a team like the Giants, but Bliss Jr. should take a season and go play with a team that'll give him some run support…  That's not meant to be a knock on his squad (well, it is sort of), I just wish a guy throwing this well had better than a 3-8 record to show for it.  This guy could be a Cy Wiffle candidate on the right team.  (PR: 15)

17.  The Mariners rolled out The Natural last week against the Fish.  In his first game of the year, this guy came out and threw pretty well (he lost, but only allowed 2 runs).  Don't know if this guy plans on playing a lot the rest of the year, but he threw well and could be a nice little wildcard for the Seamen in Wifflepalooza… if he can get eligible...  (PR: 17)

16.  The Whalers continue to play wiffleball every week… I’ve been so focused on #SanchezSays500 I haven't really talked about the rest of the team… They’re… there.  (PR: 21)

15.  The Roughriders were swept by Eagan last week.  Losing to the red hot Kards and… the Iron Pigs?  If I hadn’t spent the last two months preaching their unpredictability, I’d spend a bunch of time trying to figure out what happened… (PR: 11)

14.  Apparently the Pirates don't enter stats.  T-Mac is obviously doing this on purpose to punish me for the Jessie Smollet comparison… (PR: 14)

13.  The Twins played a poop ton of wiffles last week, 6 games.  They won half against the Giants and lost half to the Biscuits, A's, and Whalers.  (PR: 16)

12.  At this point, the Chihuahuas winning isn't even special anymore.  Is it?  (PR: 13)

11.  The Braves were swept by the Mets and get the red hot Puppies tonight.  They also have three representatives at the All-Star game (thanks @HRLKardinals for that fact, but you missed that the 3 teams with 3 representatives, who all love pre/post games, also all have 15 wins on the season).  #ChopWatch: 377 HR, 977 RBI.  (PR: 6)

10.  The Athletics are just hanging in there with anyone and everyone.  I don't think I've seen much of the pitching in person, but I'm very curious to see what these guys are doing because it's keeping them in games and apparently surprising a lot of people.  (PR: 12)

9.  Every win streak I pointed out in the rankings last week was snapped.  Did I jinx the Americans?  Cause they got swept by the Pups. (PR: 5)

8.  Overall, the Marlins had a great week last week.  Sure, they lost 2 of 3, but they got a hungry Catfish back and that's awesome (I don’t know exact stats cause Pirates haven't entered stats yet, but Catfish was like 5 for 10 on the night, had all the RBIs, and hit 3 or 4 bombs that may not have landed yet).  (PR: 9)

7.  I hear the Kardinals are going to propose a rule change extending the season so that they can get 24 days off between every series.  They took 3 from Hopkins last week, including two from my favorite Mets.  (PR: 10)

6.  I think the RubberDucks swept Hopkins?  Again, I'm not sure because the Pirates… Anyways, I learned that the Ducks create special dances/celebrations based on the opponent.  I think usually that would annoy me, but hearing Stache talk about it… I really felt the love and care that these guys put into each celebration.  It makes each one really special.  Anyways, I haven’t seen any videos from last week, hopefully it’s because Stache is busy waxing his upper lip.  (PR: 8)

5.  The Reds.  (PR: 7)

4.  The Yankees had a 6-game win streak snapped by the Pups… I feel like they're going to rebound and put up another 40 against the Whalers this week...  (PR: 4)

3.  Seems like only yesterday the Biscuits were the pride of the HRL.  Now.  Meh.  I sort of miss Griz, but not really.  TwoBat probably threw so hard last weekend he's going to lose some fingers.  Huck Finn is a wonderful human being, and did I overhear in a video he got married?  That's cool, Mazel tov!  I'm still mad at Smallpox for bailing on our spring team for Game of Thrones (multiple times).... I'm not sure I've ever spoken to Mippey IRL (I only recently learned what ‘IRL’ meant), but I'm mad at him for cancelling his tournament.  I was excited interested going to play on a team with Epstein and see Mippey’s field that I’ve heard so much about... Hmmmm, now I'm just listing things I would have said about the Biscuits at some point earlier this season if I wasn't purposefully ignoring them.  (PR: 3)

2.  So I pointed out their win streak, then they went and lost a couple games.  My bad, Mets.  You can put those losses on me for jinxing you… Mets play the RubberDucks next, and I'm just wondering what kind of dance the Ducks can do against the Mets… What is a Met?  Probably won't matter (because they wont hit any homeruns, AmIright?).  (PR: 2)

1.  I watched 'How Well Do You Know Your Teammate' the Dodgers edition, multiple times.  Epstein and Psych… I don't know what to say.  There’s so much going on in this video, I just love it.  How many times does Psych toss that ball in the air?  Why does he even have it?  How many guys dive into the pool behind them catching wiffleballs?  How did I get as many correct answers as Epstein (Travis Scott, walk-off versus Nightmare, Kepler, Knob #1)?  I thought these guys were BFF’s, but I don’t even think they know each other that well.  (PR: 1)

 

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Kong
# Kong
Monday, July 15, 2019 6:15 PM
When Power Rankings Writer of the Year writes something you read it.

Regardless of the order but we’ll done...

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